JCP: Fair and Square

I’ve always loved shopping at JCPenney.  I love that they have everything, and generally it’s well made and easy to find. And as a kid it was our go-to department store. The only other one in town was Younkers and frankly that was too “upscale” for us .  However, in recent years I’ve been pulled away from the JCP mall site to the Kohl’s outdoor mall. The brands and star-driven lines seem more interesting and on trend to me, and I admit that the “20% off of 50% off plus $10 Kohl’s Cash = practically free” mentality got me kind of hooked.

So I’ve read a lot about the new strategy at JCP.  There have been many interesting takes, notably this one in Time Magazine. Obviously, I needed to check out the store for myself. Here is my shopper’s opinion.

• The Campaign. The first thing I noticed was the screaming ads. It was memorable. It was attention-getting. And I f’ing hated it more than anything in recent memory. In addition to being annoying, I felt as though it was making fun of me as a consumer. Yes, I got the point that it had gotten ridiculous with the coupons and the 8 a.m. sales, but I’m a Kohl’s shopper, and I think that stuff is fun. Next came the Ellen ads. Much better in terms of not being annoying and selling a concept. Ellen is always likable and the ads made their points in a funny way.
• The Brand.  The next noticeable change was in the company’s brand imagery. It’s very fresh and contemporary looking. I love the circulars, which give me a feel for the types of trendy, bold colors I’d find at JCP without overloading me with products and deals. Pitting it against Kohl’s, it’s obviously, lighter, fresher, newer.  The JCP in the square is a nice step away for the logo and I like the “framing” device it provides. All in all, a step in the right direction. My only quibble is that the Ellen ads don’t really have this feel at all.
• The Brands. Here’s where we start to see the disconnect. When I walked into my Sioux City store, I saw the frame, the new brand signage and … mostly the same old clothes. It’s OK, I knew they weren’t changing brands completely, but I just didn’t feel that the fashion offerings were fulfilling the promise of the circular. To the left, the MNG line was the most eye-catching. Worthington to the direct right was a harken back to the Working Girl 80s…reinforced with the Liz Claiborne and Jones brands. A few cute things here and there were not enough to cut through the Lee Jeans of it all.
• The Pricing. The pricing was pleasing. A top I would have normally seen priced at $39.99 but refused to buy until it was $20, was $20. In that way I disagree with those who think the “lack of sense of urgency” would cost JCP sakes. For me, I felt more willing to buy something when it was priced at what it was worth, and not higher. I definitely was conscious that in the past I’d have walked away or “waited” on an item and now I knew I might as well just grab it. There were some clearance racks that sated the true bargain hunter within (another cute top – $9!). And overall I’d say this was a success until I got to the cash register. OK I know it’s the “retail environment training” but it was a little disappointing to know that, as she rung up my items, there was no hope of a “Surprise! this is only $16!” moment. As much as I know the Kohl’s – “you saved $850 today” is a blatant lie, I sort of like it.
• The Verdict. I find the circulars enticing and the pricing reasonable. Overall there aren’t that many cute offerings and I didn’t get a rush from shopping there. I’m thinking it’s a once-per-season stop instead of a monthly journey, and Kohl’s is still a monthly trip for me. (How can I resist those coupons!?)

Fashion Star Review

I had planned to watch NBC’s Fashion Star when it debuted, but after reading recaps of the first episode, I didn’t get to it until last night. Initial reviews all made it clear that the show was a hot mess of fog machines, back up dancers and no real narrative. And it is that, for sure. But it is bad for so many more reasons, too!

• The stakes - The producers of this show missed the boat completely about what we love about Project Runway — the magic! The magic of someone turning 5 corn husks and $35 into a wearable dress in less than 8 hours. And they are doing it all by themselves! Not only that, but there are specific criteria their designs must meet, so they have to think on their feet. This show gives designers a full team of seamstresses, a pattern maker, and no discernible requirements for what to make or how much to spend. Obviously, that eliminates the drama, but it also eliminates the fun for viewers! Who cares that someone could make a pretty dress with a team of 12 people in what may or may not have been under a month? Not me!
• The “buyers” – Non-descript, boring and without any built in credibility except for the logos they sit behind, the people who ultimately make the decision might as well be the banker on Deal or No Deal.
• The characters – So little time is spent on the designers that it’s impossible to care about any of them. On one hand you can appreciate that it’s a different take for a reality show. On the other hand, if it ain’t broke – don’t fix it. The reason reality competitions do well is because they give us someone to root for (and against). In this show, the designers are all pretty inter-changeable. Without backstory or context, who cares?
• The designs – Commercial designs are kind of boring to begin with. THESE commercial designs do not deserve to be on TV. The things these people send down the runway as part of a fashion competition are embarrassing. Exhibit A:  Two lovely spring jackets that you already have in your closet in triplicate. One was supposedly interesting because it was yellow! Which, by the way, the buyer claimed was ridiculous. Mostly — they are just the same spring coats you got at Old Navy or Target seven years ago and still pull out every Easter. Lovely! $29.99! And for sure not appropriate for a TV design competition in 2012.  Exhibit B:  Two polka dot full-skirt strapless dresses that might have come straight from the 1995 Maurice’s display window. It’s not that they aren’t cute. They are! That is why juniors stores have been carrying this dress for a full 50 f’ing years. Granted these two were the more pedestrian of the entires, but the “winners” really weren’t much more exciting.

One thing I’m not listing as a “bad” part of Fashion Star is the “mentors” — John Varvatos, Nicole Ritchie and Jessica Simpson.  John V. is appropriately bitchy. Nicole actually comes off smart if conceited. And J. Simp really does seem like a nice gal to throw margaritas back with. Best of all, the interplay between them is so entertaining. You can practically feel John V. and Nicole R. roll their eyes every time J. Simp says something. Too bad the show that was built around them doesn’t have anything else worth coming back for.

1 + 1 + 1 Does Not Always Equal…

I adore Lionel Richie. I have the hots for Blake Shelton. And I’ve been known to listen to “You Are” on repeat for days at a time.

So why is this not working for me?

5 Ways to Help “Smash”

“Smash” is coming back for season two. This is likely more surprising to those of us who’ve watched it every week than to those who’ve never seen it. Because this show, despite the major marketing support, is really, really bad. The kind of bad that goes to new heights week in and week out. But it’s not hopeless. Here are some ideas to get it back on track.

1. Find a hero. Who am I supposed to be rooting for in this show? Not Karen, the so naive she’s annoying rube. Or Ivy, the beyond self-centered “whoa is me” starlet that is probably uber-realistic, but painful to watch. Julia? Cheater. Tom? Over-acter. Eileen? Caricature face-slapper and late in life bar discoverer. Give me someone to root for – flawed heroes are OK, as long as they are engaging and have just a teeny tiny bit of depth.
2. Quit the singing if it doesn’t make sense. Which is more ridiculous? The bowling number or the Ivy and Karen duet with the street person?? Trick question! It’s Julia’s husband playing Rock Band and singing to her!
3. Stop playing to the rafters. There was a whole episode about how hard it is to learn to be a chorus girl and blend into the scenery. The advice was to stop playing to the rafters. Unfortunately, the vast majority of secondary characters did not take this advice. Distractingly so.
4. Drop the drama. The voiceover guy has got to go. The overwrought sense of drama around the whole affair just makes it so much more ridiculous when it is ridiculous. 
5. Kill Ellis. Having him switch hit to land the star actually interested me a little. But just a very, very little. Unfortunately it’s too late for this sorry character. I don’t want to spend time with him, and I don’t know anyone who would.

The only redeeming factor in the show is Derek. Oh sure he’s a horrible person, but he has charisma and I actually believe him most of the time. And the happy memories from Coupling (and… this) don’t wear off all that easy.

Jason Aldean “Fly Over States”

I generally like Jason Aldean. So when I was listening to the Highway and saw his name pop up with the title “Fly Over States.” I was excited, I thought it would be a great clever song about why the rest of the country rocks, or a touching heartstrings song about the good people you meet in the heartland. The song that played disappointed me. Maybe I give him too much credit, but with a great title like that, I expected so much more than this trite, “you’ve never been to Oklahoma or Kansas or Indiana” kind of lyric atop a familiar and melodramatic tune. Makes me hope someone writes the song I want to hear — Dierks? Blake? Eric? Someone get on it.

One Tree Hill — from Ludicrous to Boring?

One Tree Hill has been many things. It’s been heartbreaking (Keith’s murder), melodramatic (Peyton’s cyberstalker), ridiculous (Nanny Carrie), sexy (Julian), funny (Chris Keller), thoughtful (CMM and his furrowed brow), action packed (too many crazy storylines to name), love triangle-tacular (Brooke, CMM and Peyton — come on, don’t deny it) and often traumatizing (Dan’s heart being eaten by a dog, for one; Deb and Skillz, for another).

But until now, it has never been boring. Unfortunately, the start of the final season has had me scratching my head wondering if this is the same damn show. A snapshot of the storylines:

• Clay has a major problem — a secret problem! He’s…..sleepwalking!! (dun dun dun!)
• Mouth gets fat. Millie is sad. Seriously, that’s the whole storyline.
• Hailey’s diner needs a cook! And the competition across the street is mean.
• Brooke wants to golf with her dad, is sad to find out she was only invited to lunch.

Sure there are other things lurking in the background — namely, Dan. No really, every time someone is talking, Dan is lurking there in the background. Obviously this is supposed to make us worry about what he’s going to get himself up to. But this is OTH!! We don’t spend four episodes worrying about what Dan might do! We see Dan murder three midgets and then become a tele-evangelist, while his ex-wife passes out in a cocktail of booze and pills, all before the introductory music montage is over. Now we are stuck watching Dan lurk while waiting for Nathan to return from “Europe,” so he can listen to his son ask him to please let Grandpa stay.

OK, we did have a “left a baby in the car” scare with Julian a few weeks ago. Now that is something that really happens and it’s heartbreaking. But when your most interesting/dangerous storyline involves a working parent who’s stressed out and screws up on the way to daycare — well I think you might have left the realm of escapism a little too quickly there.

I am confident that the teddy bear of doom left laying the gutter as Nathan didn’t make it home last week portends bigger, more dramatic and hopefully crazy happenings. If not, OTH is destined to go out with a whimper. In a way this whole strategy– the getting fat, leaving kids in cars, job stress storylines — are reminiscent of the final season of 90210 where they made Steve Sanders trade in the ‘vette for a minivan. As if to say — “Look people, there is nothing left to see here anyway, just go on and be boring old grown ups.” I didn’t buy it with 90210, and I don’t with OTH either.

 

Not Much Wow in Wu: Jason Wu for Target

So I had seen the online lookbook, editorial press and “Today” appearances of the Jason Wu for Target collection and honestly wasn’t that enthralled. There were some cute looks in the line, but they weren’t cute looks for me. Unlike Missoni, of which I wanted any and all, immediately, there was only one dress in this collection I would even consider buying — this one.  Still, I wasn’t POSITIVE that I didn’t love it, so I got up and hauled my cookies to Target at 8 a.m. on a Sunday morning. There were plenty of items (though they weren’t carrying the blue dress) and no mob scene — God bless Iowa — but really, in person, the stuff was so underwhelming. The fabrics were not great and the designs a weird mix of old lady and young girl. I left without even seriously considering anything.

I’m glad I checked it out, and I’m equally glad I don’t live somewhere like Miami, where the couple went in and bought everything with plans to sell it for a profit.  Despite the fact that I didn’t love the collection, stories like this are so annoying they give me heart palpitations. Setting limits may not be ideal on Target’s end, but there must be a better answer. If I had waited in line only to watch store personnel escort these people out of there with every single thing available, I would be seriously disenfranchised on the level of never wanting to go back into that store. I’m just thinking Target should be careful walking this line of drawing interest and turning people off.  The quick publicity benefit isn’t going to be worthwhile once people decide they are just. over. it.

Top 25 Most Played: #24 “Worn Me Down”

I remember listening to this a ton a few years ago, so it’s not shocking it’s on this playlist. It’s just an easy listening kind of pop song. Rachel Yamagata is one of those people I really like in theory, but then don’t listen to all that often. But this song was once featured on “The O.C.” so it got itself into heavy rotation for me… That show’s been off the air for years but still permeates my iTunes!!

 

Weighing In on the Commercials

Apparently everyone with an internet connection is required to weigh on in this important national issue: the Super Bowl Commercials.

My five favorites were:

• The Honda Ferris commercial, because even though I saw it last week and yes, there could have been more, I truly love Ferris and thought it was clever.
• The Hyundai Cheetah commercial, because it made me chuckle and I didn’t see it coming.
• The Clint Eastwood Detroit commercial, because it reminds me of last year’s Eminem commercial.
• The naked M&Ms commercial, because naked chocolate is vaguely sexy.
• The Beckham H&M commercial, because nearly naked Beckham is overtly sexy.
• The dog training Volkswagen commercial, because I need to get in shape like that dog did.

These were the ones I liked the least…or didn’t like the most?:

• The end of the dog training Volkswagen commercial, with the Star Wars meta reference to last year’s commercial. Look I have nothing against Star Wars. I don’t like a brand bragging that last year’s commercial was so damn witty. I didn’t really think it was that witty.
• The Polar Bears Coke commercial. First, I don’t believe polar bears drink Coke. Second, why would they drink it out of a glass bottle? That is just not practical. No one drinks Coke out of a glass bottle anymore. (I really wanted the payoff to be that it was a plastic bottle all along. Wouldn’t that have been better?)
• GoDaddy…it’s old. Why is Danica still in on this? There isn’t a joke to be a part of any more?
• The Doritos dog murderer of the cat. I just didn’t think it was that clever.
• The Bridgestone series. Boring, not funny, too much fire power not put to good use.
• Bud Light Platinum. Yawn for the commercial, and the beer.

Movie Review: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

The “extremely loud” part is definitely on target. I wanted to like this movie. I had a pocketful of kleenex and a Sunday afternoon free. I wasn’t excited to think about 9/11 for two hours but I hoped I’d get a meaningful and interesting remembrance. Unfortunately the two hour trip is hosted by, literally, the most annoying child on the face of the earth. The 11-year-old, Oskar, is eccentric. Tests to determine if he had aspergers were “inconclusive.” There are not many scenes in which Oskar is not the primary, if not only, speaker. And after a half hour or so, his voice was like nails on a chalkboard to me. His quest to decipher a key found in his late father’s belongings is hopeless, and extremely lengthy. By the time he finds a cohort you will be so thrilled and excited to get to hear another character. Then…he’s mute! It’s a ridiculous device and only serves for more one-sided screeching by the kid. In the end, there are some touching moments. Things tie together and the crazy hopeless quest of the key feels like it had some meaning after all. Unfortunately all that comes too late. The kid has already been unlikable for too long. Tom Hanks, Sandra Bullock, Max Von Sydow, Viola Davis and the other adults do a nice job. Unfortunately, they can’t counter balance the kid. (Disclaimer – I am not a kid hater. But I don’t have unlimited tolerance or sympathy for the fictitious ones, either.)