Oscar 2011 Review: The Hosts

Sadly, James Franco and Anne Hathaway were not good.  I can see the impulse that led to their hiring. James is endearing on funnyordie, talk shows and General Hospital. Anne is a triple threat who basically auditioned when she did her number with Hugh Jackman. They are younger, presumably hipper, and definitely prettier. I had high hopes after the two started on the interview circuit and began the commercials. They had a great rookie enthusiasm and energy that was different from what we've seen from hosts in the past. But that energy did not translate to the show. 

The first problem: James.  He was nothng but what he is.  He's always been a slacker with a vague pothead vibe and a sense of humor that didn't quite add up. We were amused by his five different university programs, stint on the soap and novella.  In that amusement we built him up to be more than who he is. The minute he came out with zero energy and a dazed expression, I realized that we'd been wrong to expect anything else.

The second problem: Anne. The anti-James — over to his under. Too much to his too little.  I read someone say that she was likely overcompensating for her toned down host. But she came off frantic and a little crazed. As blah as he was, she came off even worse in some ways — for isn't annoying worse than boring? And I'm sorry, but "On My Own?" wasn't funny, or timely. Just seemed like a total ego moment for her.

The third problem: the timing.  Maybe it was their styles absolutely not meshing, but they seemed to work against each other, not with each other. Never more egregiously than after the Melissa Leo speech.  They came out with competing lines, then said them at the same time. Then had to repeat them. It was the sort of conversational blunder that is OK in front of four people, but not so much in front of a billion. A simple convo before going out — or just deciding on who's the lead in each situation — was needed. Too much leeway was given to them, clearly.

The fourth problem: the writing. They got no help whatsoever. There was so much made of the fact that they weren't comedians, so they didn't want to try and be comedians. But unfortunately no one figured out what they would be. They had a cute opening movie skit — more from positioning than from anything they did — but they had nothing else to work with.

The fifth problem: the expectations. For some reason the expectations for the hosts of the Oscars are always huge, despite the fact that great, funny, famous people have been unable to make anything of it. Truth be told there was little they could do to become heroes with this gig.

So there you have it: my review is that they were not good. I don't hate them for not being good and I think that the online audience may have been a bit too strong in their passion about how not good they were.

Golden Globes Indecision

January Jones — I sort of loved it. I also thought it was way too revealing and a little bit slutty. But, I sort of loved it.

Sandy Bullock — I didn't find her dress very flattering, but it was sure pretty and sparkly. Her hair was cute but her make up was excessive and made her face seem a little surgified.

Piper Perabo — Kind of love the lipage and the ponytail and the bow….was it enough or was the dress too blah? Probably blah. But good work on that other stuff.

Mila Kunis — I have a girl crush on you, yet still can't come up wth anything to say about your dress, positive or negative.

Amy Adams — loved for the most part, in fact nothing negative because the color and ruffles were all great…however nothing terribly special to discuss.

Megan Fox — same as Amy, loved the color and the bandage style of the bodice, just not as good as the "best."

Juliana Marguilies — I LOVED this dress. The black bodice and pink skirt were a nice twist.

Leighton Meester –This dress did not seem like a formal dress. It looked awesome on her but hard to give the credit to the dress, which was brown, long sleeved and  pretty basic. But when the split revealed her gams, and her hair combined with her coloring to show you…it was a good look overall.

Some Random Thoughts

Best Presenting Pair — Steve Carrell and Tina Fey, again

Best Presenter — RDJ

Worst Presenting Pair — Chris something and Chris something….they are here to raise their profile and instead we don't know who is who and who's in what. Putting the two unknown Chris's together proved to be a bad idea.

Best Looking Older Lady — Jane Fonda, insanely trim and hot

Best Random's Dress — Katey Segal. How can you not like her after all these years. And her dress was different and interesting, she looked great in it. OK, it was a little hooterific, but she looked nice.

Best Ricky G. Joke — Overall, they were many and I was madly in love with him, even if Angelina disagrees. But the best was introducing Bruce Willis as Ashton Kutcher's dad.

Most Emotional Win — Chris Colfer from Glee made me cry. Not because he was that emotional but because his so team was!!

 

Best Dressed at the Golden Globes

Emma Stone and Claire Danes – Both in Calvin Klein Collection. Both so tailored and smooth in a world of ruffly bigness. All of a sudden, the antidote. Both also in attention getting, unique colors that we didn't see on another dress. I feel that CK won the night with these two dresses. And of course the flawless figures that can pull off the every-flay-showing sheathe looks. Not sure which is tougher. That halter on Claire is serious — and she's so thin. But the full coverage of Emma's gives absolutely no leeway.

Lea Michele – Loved the structured ruffles, the pink, the one shoulder, the side train. She hits it out of the park once again!

Hailey Stanfield — The best under 18 we've seen in years. Shape and class without going above her age level.

Catherine Zeta Jones — It pains me to say it because CZJ is so annoying, but her green, full skirt number was both classic and on trend (green) for the night.

Julie Bowen — Loved the taupe dress with flowers and pretty adornments. She looked both elegant and trendy.

Tina Fey – Truthfully, more a most improved than best dressed. But the blue was beautiful and the ruffled sleeve interesting. And I loved the way the dress pooled at her feet.

Olivia Wilde — I was unsure all night if this dress was too much. Until the last shot of the Social Network win when you could spot her in the ballroom for no good reason. This dress was lovely, it was noticable and it was fun.

Worst Dressed at the Golden Globes

Natalie Portman — The dress itself is only disappointing, unflattering and unfashionable. The rose makes it ridiculous and painful. The red accessories were cute on their own but the dress was atrocious.

Michelle Williams — Hippie pathetic. So super disappointing from her. And can't wait for all the mags to pretend it's ok because it's Valentino!! It was a preteen disaster.

Halle Berry – Demi Moore biker shorts reminsicent. Trying so hard to be hot and sexy when you are Halle Berry and hottest and sexiest, it's not necessary. You are not Blake Lively — you have nothing to prove!!

Anne Hathaway — Dynasty shoulder pads.

Scarlett Johansson — The hair is RIDICULOUS.

Julianne Moore — We can all get behind one shoulder. One arm? With half a necklace? We are not down with that.

Helena Bohnham Carter – Crazy is not a style. Or an excuse.

 

Christian Bale Is Back on My Good Side

Do you know how you can tell if someone's truly giving a great performance? If they can persuade you to forget what you already know about them. Like even now, when you catch "Jerry Maguire" on cable on a Saturday afternoon, and you get sucked in and instead of thinking — "Tom Cruise, what a fool" — you actually are  
thinking "I love you Jerry Maguire!"  (Or one way you know it's NOT a great performance: If someone shows up, like…say, Winona Ryder, in "The Black Swan"…and you are constantly thinking "its Wino Forever!" instead of "oh it's just poor tragic Beth, the washed up ballerina." Just a thought.) So anyway…Christian Bale is the point. In "The Fighter." And whatever you have heard about his ass-hatness and yelling at commoners and general douche-baggery really doesn't matter when you see him in this movie. He's insanely good. He plays the crack-addicted brother of Marky Mark, who is a boxer with abs, good ones. Christian Bale is so skinny, sweaty, slimy, fast-talking and shaking and singing…it's off-putting but in a good way. As he and his mother, the also great Melissa Leo, drag down Marky, you really really want them both to go away. Which for me, made "The Fighter" hard to watch, a little. I loved the movie and highly recommend it. But there was a time in the middle of it where I was done with Christian's character Dicky, and his mother. And that visceral reaction also tells me, well, bravo. So despite all the antics in Christian's past, and the Batman voice that truly drives me crazy, I will be rooting for him to win any supporting actor award that exists and more, if they want to invent them.

The Best

Vera Farmiga – I have a mad girl crush on Vera after Up in the Air. Does that color my opinion   when I tell you that I am madly in love with this dress? Or does the fact that I love this dress so much make love her even more? It's a catch 22! Because I am totally in love with this dress. I am also madly in love with her pale, natural, flawless skin juxtaposed with that red. Yes, the ruffles were borderline rose-y and she risked being swallowed by the neckline. But this was clearly a risk worth taking. Vera seems to understand she may only get one shot at this and she might as well go for it.

Dame Helen Mirren – A best dressed revelation. I can’t say enough how much I loved this dress. It was ethereal and dreamy and yet, age appropriate. Sexy and refined, elegant and fun at the same time. I would wear this dress in a heartbeat. 

Demi Moore – No one is more shocked than me to see Demi step out looking so dynamite. Usually she has a bit of a taste problem, and even when picking a fabulous dress she can mess it up with a too short hem, too fake tan or too gaudy of accessories. But that dress was very perfectly of the moment, blending lots of trends – the champagne color, the ruffles, the neckline, in a way that wasn't over the top And while I would have liked her skin tone to match it a little bit less…and maybe would have opted for some bronze stilettos over stripper stacks, this was a major hit for me. And it's worth noting that she as the only truly “good God I’m in love” inducer from the men in my crowd last evening. Hot. 

 

Sandra Bullock

– I think she looked perfect, from the sleek, simple hair and the gorgeous make-up and old school red lips, to the elegant dress that was different and elegant. I love the little cap sleeves and the way the embroidered design seemed to float. And while the appallingly bad E! crew, featuring Giuliana DiPandi Ransic (how far we have fallen from the beloved Joan Rivers), called it “matronly” for not showing off her “banging bod” I have to say – let’s agree to disagree, you fake tan loving, cleavage embracing, big hair seeking fashion disasters.

 

Gabourey Sidibe – I, like Sandy B., have fallen in love with “Gabby.”  Maybe it’s because I can relate to her use of sudden newfound fame to do good – if by doing good you mean going on a quest to meet all of the members of ‘N Sync. Maybe it’s the way she said to Seacrest about her perfect plum dress: “If fashion is porn, you know this is the money shot.” Likely it’s also linked to her amazing performance and the fact that she has been rockin those “curves,” as she did when the announced her onstage as a nominee and preened like the redhot goddess she aspires to be. Whatever the reason, she lived up to my own internal hype for her last night, and served as such a refreshing difference in the crowd. And she managed to win over the crowd in my household of Oscar watchers, despite the fact that I was the only one that had seen the movie. Bby the end of the night the crowd of three men and two women was saying “please let it be Precious” right before the winner was announced. That’s a feat!

Oscars: Middle of the Road Fashion

Meryl Streep – If nothing else, should definitely get the most improved award for the way she’s stepped it up in the last few years. There was a time when she couldn’t be bothered to do more than a matronly old lady sack. But I feel that recently, there at least is effort. I liked her white V cut dress, it was very glamorous for her. I think white is very hard to pull off so I fear it was a bit unflattering, but it was a valliant effort.

Carey Mulligan – I love the juxtaposition of the blonde pixie with the black color, even if I think that she could have wowed us in a color. The beading was interesting and the peekaboo hem just different and young enough to make it so she doesn’t disappear into the night, in this one. But I can’t help thinking it was a bit of a wasted opportunity for her to really make an entrance onto the scene.

Cameron Diaz – Looked gorgeous and fairly normal, for her. But the all-american girl who stepped on the scene as a model ingénue is clearly aging, and it makes me sad.  I guess I should thank her for coming out with a few wrinkles instead of botoxing her face into oblivion, though. So, thanks, Cammie! You are late 30s and proud of it, and we are proud of you! 

Maggie Gyllenhaal – I need to see more of this to decide. My gut instinct is love – the print is contemporary, the neckline different and the bottom cool. But I never got to see a real full shot of this. I fear that the print may be a little too casual for the occasion. My feeling on Maggie is she’s never in the middle—usually so good or so very, very bad. I think this is closer to so good but will wait to make a final decision.

Diane Kruger – she can pull it off. It was retro but haute…I liked it but didn’t love it. The back was pretty but was sort of diaper like in some weird way. I don’t know — maybe if she’d brought Pacey with her I’d have more positive vibes.

Queen Latifah does not have an easy body type to dress, and that dress fit her beautifully.

Kristen Stewart finally looked mature, in a good way (not in a dressing too old for her way).

Penelope Cruz looked great, as always, as well.

 

The Jury is Still Out

SJP – This has me perplexed! I saw it plenty and have been thinking about it long and hard. I enjoy the color, the fancified top, the cut, the back, the weird strap neckline. I don’t enjoy the weird strap neckline, the tentlike feel and the thought that I own the casual Target version of this dress along with all the 2007 tenty dresses I still have in the closet and rock without regret. That was a comfy year, y’all. But it’s 2010 and I think this cut is over – unless with SJP it’s so over its back? Regardless, it lost points for me when she presented on the show and it had those terrible wrinkles in the front. (How do they not have someone backstage to steam her or something?)

 

Hot Guys

With the eyes on the ladies, I admit to a bit of a trigger happy tivo finger when the men come on. Tuxes just don’t have the same allure. Plenty of men looked fantastic last night, but these men would look equally handsome, say, coming out of my shower in nothing but a towel. So it’s hard to give total credit to the clothes. But since I can, let’s pay homage to the hotness that was:

Keanu Reeves in a classic tie, with unkempt facial hair and still looking as hot as ever.

Ryan Reynolds, less bulky than the Wolverine of summer but so, so dreamy.

Bradley Cooper. ‘nuff said.

Young Zac Efron and Taylor Lautner.

Jake Gyllenhaal, always classic. 

Gerard Butler, he’s not my cup of tea, but I can see where someone might get an idea or two.